Only 3%?

Only 3% of adults have clear, written, specific, measurable, time-bounded goals, and by every statistic, they accomplish ten times as much as people with no goals at all. -Brian Tracy

A friend recently sent me this quote and it made me really think.  I understand the power of goal setting, but it was hard to imagine that only 3% of adults have well defined written down goals.  

So what is a goal and how do you set one?  We may say that our goal is to exercise more or eat healthy or watch less television.  But that’s not really a goal until you really commit.  I like writing down the goal and having it somewhere I’ll see regularly.  Maybe put it in a couple places you frequent.  The fridge door seems obvious, but often our fridges are covered with things we are suppose to remember to do, so maybe put a note inside the fridge or on the coffee.  Post it at work and in your bathroom, anywhere you’ll see it regularly. 

Ok now you have your goal and that’s it, right?  Well, not really because you need to know why you’re setting the goal.  If you don’t have a good reason, you’re not likely to actually take action.  The more difficult the goal, the more powerful the reason for doing it will have to be.  For example, if you want to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle, you might say to yourself that you’ll look and feel better, and for some people that will be all the leverage they need to get their butt to the gym.  For others being around to see their kids graduate is a much stronger motivator.  You must have a really good reason and add that to your written goal.  For example, “I will to lose weight and be healthy so that I can see little Johnny graduate from high school”.  

Next, you need to figure out the action steps.   What are the things you will do every day to achieve your goal?  These are the small simple things like no longer going to the drive-thru for food.  Getting up 30 minutes early and going for a walk.  Come up with actions for each day and write them down.  It may be one thing like walking every day or it may be a series of things like this week you’ll walk for ten minutes each day and bring a lunch to work twice, then the next week you may increase it to walking fifteen minutes and bringing lunch three times.  If your goal is to start a business the action steps will be things like writing a business plan, registering the business name, and getting business cards designed and getting the business cards printed.  Write a list of small easily achievable steps.

Your goal should involve something measurable.  You’ll achieve a certain activity or weight by a certain date and time.  You’ll exercise 3 times a week.  You’ll write 500 words a day.  For more abstract goals like being a better parent, you might want to elaborate and say you’ll be a better parent by giving your child 30 minutes of undivided attention everyday that is positive in nature.  This means you don’t count the time you spend nagging them to clean their room or brush their teeth.  

Finally, you need to celebrate your successes.  Each day, acknowledge your efforts, and at least once a week, celebrate whatever you have achieved, no matter how small.  If you have a day or week where you don’t achieve your desired results, just remember that it’s all part of the process and if you keep trying, you’ll eventually reach your goal.  You will occasionally be side tracked and if you acknowledge and accept this, you won’t “fall off the wagon” and just give up.  

This week I challenge each of you to write down your top three goals, the reason why you want each and the action steps that will help get you there.  

Let’s be part of the 3% that has well defined goals and achieve ten times more than the other 97%!

It’s Friday. Know when to take a break!

You’ve read the books, set your goals and have an action plan.  You work on your goals everyday, but sometimes they get put on ice because the kids get sick or you have to work late.  Maybe you’re just tired or you’re getting a cold.  Maybe your spouse is bugging you because he or she hardly sees you while you focus on your goals.  

It is just as important to make taking a break and relaxing a goal.  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in accomplishing a goal that we forget to focus on our relationships.  Spending time with your children, your partner and your friends is important because they are the ones who will be there when you need encouragement or when you want to celebrate a success.  Keep them on your radar at all times, even if it means that your other goals take a little longer.  There’s the rule of five which explains that you should take five actions every day towards your goal, but five is an arbitrary number.  The important thing is to persist and keep taking action, and eventually you’ll get there.  Coming from the person who took twelve years to get a degree, trust me, I know what I’m talking about.  

So today I’m keeping it short so I can go and spend a little time with my family and enjoy a quiet Friday.  Have a great weekend and make your relationships the focus.   Make a point of telling those you love how much you appreciate them.  

See you Monday!

A little closer to your dream

 It’s scary.  Do it anyway.

Sometimes the hardest things to do are also the best things for us.  When we approach a situation that is unfamiliar, our instinct is to avoid it and maybe run for cover.  Do it anyway!  The discomfort you are feeling will be short lived and often you’ll come out the other side with new found courage or beliefs about what you can do.

Tonight I decided to try something outside my comfort zone and definitely outside my accountability partner’s comfort zone.  We tried an “act as if” evening.  I read about this idea where you have a party and invite everyone to come as they will be in ten years.  You come to the party acting as if you are the successful person you dream to be, living your dream life.  It is suppose to help you visualize your dreams and begin to talk about them as if they are a reality. 

I challenged my accountability partner to come to an evening where we would do a trial run of an “acting as if” party.  Since it was a little outside our comfort zones and I’m not sure I could convince enough of my friends to attend such a party-LOL-I decided we’d just have the two of us for an evening “business meeting”.  The idea was that we would meet as if it were two years in the future.  

I decided we’d meet at an upscale hotel for our regular Thursday evening meeting instead of our usual coffee shop.  The location was meant to give my accountability partner a taste of being treated well, like the other successful business people there for an after work drink.  At first it felt a little strange, but I quickly found it easier to get “into role”.  It felt less fake and more plausible as we talked.  The objective is to create an environment where you believe and act as if you are successful; however you define that to be.  I of course, in my future persona, had found the key to remove the Golden Handcuffs of a government job, working for myself and travelling the world; and my accountability partner had been successful with his website and was now looking at real estate investments that would be environmentally sound and would also provide opportunities to give back to the community.  

We ended the evening discussing the week leading up to our “act as if” evening and the thoughts that ran through our heads, like “this is stupid”, “you’ll sound like a dork” you’re not smart enough to pull this off, “you’re too lazy to do the hard work needed to get this off the ground”, or “you’ll never accomplish this, you’re just lying”.  The statements that we say to ourselves are remarkable and sometimes it’s a wonder anyone accomplishes anything.   The more we talked as if we were our future selves the more we became comfortable with the notion of success and the more we were able to bring to the surface the negative self talk and really dissect the origins.

It was an interesting exercise that was very helpful to both of us.  I might just try to convince some of my friends to have a full “act as if” party.  Might be lots of fun!  Why not spend a couple days acting as if you are successful.  Walk and dress the part and see how you feel.  I predict that you’ll feel a little closer to your dream.

Right side accountability

I decided to set a goal to write a thousand words a week before reviving this blog.  The problem was I was writing for myself and there was no “last minute panic” to break the procrastination and finally get me down to work.  I could go week after week writing nothing, if I’d wanted.  There was no teacher marking my work and no boss waiting for a report.  So how did I create the pressure to write and just get it done?  For this I thank my accountability partner.  We met online (how weird is that-apparently not so weird these days) and now meet in person every two weeks.  Having an accountability partner has helped tremendously because it gives me just enough push to accomplish the goals I set.  I really don’t want to show up at that meeting not having done what I said I would do.  

We meet for coffee every second Thursday and discuss or goals and the obstacles to reaching them.  We encourage each other in our pursuits, brainstorm ideas and go away with a set of goals to be done by the next meeting.  About a month ago, I found myself on a Wednesday night writing my 2000 words to cover off the last two weeks, just 20 hours before my next meeting with my accountability partner.  It worked and I actually wrote 2600.  But I could do better than that, couldn’t I?  If I’d managed 2600 words in one night, why only set a goal of 1000 words a week. 

Then someone mentioned writing a blog and I was inspired to revive mine.  I started writing and was encouraged by the stats.  More than one person had read my blog, so the next day I posted again and this time a few more read.  I don’t have a big following yet, and hopefully for all my readers’ sake, the content will improve as I stretch these old writing muscles that have been dormant for a few years, but suddenly I’ve created this new accountability.  My husband suggested that if I want to keep followers, reading my blog has to become part of their routine.  And so, here I am feeling the pressure to write yet again.  But it’s great and I love it.  Sure the left side of my brain says logically I’m not really accountable to anyone, but the right side dreams of a great following that I can’t let down.  So for now, because it works well keeping me accountable, I’m going to listen to the right side of my brain.  After all, it has me writing well over my 1000 words a week.

If there’s a goal you want to reach, create accountability.  Find a friend or post online so that you’ll feel at least a little pressure to achieve your goal.  Each and every action you take that helps you towards your goal is worthwhile.

What do you believe?

I’m not sure where some of my beliefs originate, but one that has always held true was that if I really needed money, it would appear.  I grew up in a family that did not ask for help from others and you definitely would never ask for money, but somewhere along the way I came up with this belief that money would be there if I really needed it. 

So when times were tight and I needed money for the phone bill, I came across an old jar of change and sure enough, there was the needed thirty dollars.  Or maybe the kids really needed some new clothes and sure enough the government sent some special rebate cheque in the mail.  Sometimes it was a friend or family member who offered to lend money, just when I had no idea how I was going to pay for something.  It just seemed that whenever I really needed it, the money showed up, just in time.  Now is this some law of attraction or the universe answering my needs?  I don’t know.  You may argue that imy belief skews my perception and that I am remembering the times when money appeared and ignoring all the other times when it didn’t.  In the end it doesn’t really matter, because it is my belief and perception.  It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, because I'm the only one who can change it.

This belief has served me very well and has helped me to be less afraid to take a few leaps of faith when buying a first house and car.  I knew in my heart that somehow the money to pay for it would always be there.  Hey-if the bank was willing to loan the money than there was at least a remote possibility that they would get paid, right?  But recently I had a revelation.  What if I changed my belief ever so slightly?  What if instead, I said that money would appear when I really want it, instead of when I really need it?  Could changing one word change my perception of money?

This got me thinking about other things people believe about themselves and that I believed about myself?  For the longest time, I thought I was too young to be taken seriously.  Was I acting like I shouldn’t be taken seriously and as a result people wouldn’t treat my ideas seriously.  Or maybe I never put my ideas out there for people to even consider.  This last year I realized at age 37, that I could no longer use the excuse that I was too young.  That ship has sailed.  Really, how old does one have to be?  It is all a matter of perspective. 

When I was younger I also believed that teachers were these authoritative figures to be feared, but going back to school as an adult I started to have professors my own age or sometimes younger and started to see them as no different than myself.  They were human and had lives outside of school.  With this realization, I was leass afraid to talk to them and before long, I developed friendships with some.  Again, this perception held me back for years because I was too afraid to talk to teachers at school.  I didn’t want them to think I was stupid or didn't really deserve to be in the class I was in, because I didn’t understand something and so, I wouldn’t ask questions.  As adults many of us still do the same thing, often at work or maybe in our relationships at home.  We don't value our own thoughts and fear criticism.    

What are your beliefs?  Is there a way you could change them to make your beliefs more empowering?  Do you have beliefs that are holding you back?  Start by figuring out what your beliefs are.  The best question to ask yourself when you make a statement is “How do you know?”  You may just find that you don’t really know and it is just something you believe.  Then you need to ask yourself if the belief empowers you or holds you back.  If it holds you back, you need to find a way to create a new belief.  Confront the belief, question it and see if it is really true.  Often we don’t know where the belief comes from, but once we are aware of it, we realize that it is just one perception and can be changed.

Be open to questioning beliefs that hold you back.  This week, I challenge you to question one limiting belief.