Why New Year’s Resolutions are setting you up for failure

I will lose weight. I will start going to the gym. I will spend less time on social media.  I will go back to school. I will get a new job.  I will learn a new skill.  I will practice mindfulness every day.  

There are so many resolutions that are set every New Year’s Eve and by the end of the first week or two of January, most have failed to see them through.  

This is because we do it all wrong.  This doesn’t mean we should give up on this great practice of thinking about what we want for the New Year. We just need to look at them in a different way.  

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to be eating yet another huge meal New Year’s Day with family as the festive season winds down.  I’m off work for a few more days and know I won’t start a new exercise regime or any other new habits for that matter. Even if I managed to start something this week, I’ll have to figure out how to do it again next week when I’m back at work and when the kids are back in school.

So how can we set New Year’s Resolutions that we will stick with and will make us feel successful in mid January, through February and into the rest of the year.

Let’s start by looking back to the origins of the word. 14^th century French, resolution had to do with breaking things into parts.  Latin resolutionem suggests the idea of reducing things to a simpler form.  I think the evolution of New Year’s Resolutions to a list of things we will start on January 1^st greatly decreases the chances of success because we expect to start them all immediately, when what we should be doing is setting those resolutions as the final step, the end goal.

This year I may resolve to be healthier.  To increase my chance of success, the next step should be to break that down into simple steps.  Week one might be simply to drink more water, maybe two extra glasses a day.  Week two, as routine re-emerges with everyone back to school and work, I can add a short ten-minute walk or perhaps just taking the stairs at work two days a week. That’s it.  Keep it simple and achievable.  Let those two routines settle in for a few weeks then add another step.  If we add one small thing every three to four weeks, by the New Year’s Eve next year, we will have added 12-17 new actions that help us towards our resolution, and we will feel far more accomplished. 

Some resolutions may take less time to fully implement.  Cutting back on social media could mean just tracking when and how much time is spent on various apps for a couple weeks. Then perhaps the next step is to just cut out social media in the morning or in the hour before bed for a month.  Perhaps simply cutting out a specific time of day was enough to keep social media in check and our resolution is achieved before March. 

We also don’t have to start all our resolutions in January.  Pick one for January.  Schedule another for February.  Have a resolution that coincides with spring.  The key is to have a plan. Write it down. Put it in your calendar.  Set reminders.  

So tonight, as you write down your New Year’s Resolutions, start thinking of them as an end goal and start breaking them down into small steps that you can begin throughout the year.  Then every week, every month, and every quarter you can review your progress towards your goal.